Fear and loathing in middle school

I REMEMBER BEING MADE TO DIAGRAM SENTENCES as a source of great tedium in middle school English class, even for a word nerd like me. Now I would like to know how to do it again. I have been amusing myself today by imaging a roomful of 14-year-olds diagramming Hunter S. Thompson.

The image comes from the fine people at Pop Chart Lab, and is taken from their wonderful poster "A Diagrammatical Dissertation on Opening Lines of Notable Novels."